In October of 2010, I had the opportunity to begin an amazing journey. My Dad bought me the wonderful gift of a gym membership that included a trainer. I was extremely reluctant to start this journey - not because I didn't need to but because I was afraid! I had NEVER been a gym goer, in fact, I can count on one hand the times I've been into a gym outside of high school and church! This was scary!
I met with my new trainer, Lisa, and she instructed me in how to begin. We mostly talked about nutrition and what my expectations were and how to achieve my desires. We arranged to meet again two days later. I arrived a little early for my next appointment with Lisa, feeling very self-conscious and still afraid. Lisa had gone to lunch - Griff, the gym owner, told me she'd be back soon and I should go ahead and warm up. I panicked! Warm up? What's that? Lisa didn't cover that! I didn't know what to do so I went and hid in the locker room. Lisa got there a few minutes later - I tried to pull myself together but I lost it, the tears were flowing and I wasn't even sure why. Lisa helped me talk through it and I realized that I was afraid of success! That I was afraid of letting people down. That I was afraid of doing this for myself. That I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do it. She helped me realize I just need to take it one step at a time and tackle each obstacle as it came...step by step.
Lisa and I became good friends over the next several months. I changed a great deal, inside and out. It took me a LONG TIME to get the nutrition part down - not because I didn't understand it but because I LOVE FOOD! And my lifetime of food habits were difficult to change...STILL ARE!
The fitness part was easier than I thought it would be: LOVE weights, LOATHE the treadmill (and most cardio in general). I got to a point where I rarely missed the gym for any reason.
In April 2011, I had developed enough confidence to try out for our community production of Hello Dolly! (I KNOW I would not have had the confidence had I not already wrestled some of my other demons via the gym.) I made it into the play, as well as my 5-year-old boy! We had a lot of fun doing it and, I found myself volunteering for everything, including props! There was a lot of dancing in the show - I found I didn't mind that cardio so much! I had a great time, it was a great show, with wonderful people, and I loved doing it.
So, in June of 2011, I was flourishing!
Near the end of the show, my gym sessions ran out. Now, this gym is AWESOME but it is also very expensive to meet with the trainers (they are worth it!) I could not afford to buy new sessions and we would be performing soon so I just decided to figure out what to do after the show closed. Also, about this time, I discovered I was pregnant!
Not too long after the show ended, we found out the pregnancy was ectopic and had to be removed. This was devastating to us. We had been trying since 2006 to conceive. We'd already had an ectopic in 2007. I don't want to go into all the sadness I felt but this affected me deeply for many reasons.
So, I had to take several weeks off to recover. Once I was given the okay to workout again, I went to the gym to see what I could do. Now, some of you are probably wondering why I didn't just go to a cheaper gym, right? Well, let me tell you how much this gym means to me...besides it being the ONLY gym I have ever known, the trainers there are amazing, especially the owner, Griff. Griff knows everyone's name and he always welcomes you and is available to help. So I talked to Griff about what I could do to afford to continue my process. He informed me that Lisa was moving to CA so she would not be available but that Kendra would be taking her place and could train with me. I then said I would even clean bathrooms to help pay for my needs. He said "that's not a bad idea!" Can you believe it? So, I now clean the gym to keep working out there and I meet with Kendra once a month too! I feel very blessed for Griff's help.
I would like to say it's been smooth sailing since but, alas, it has not. I did pretty well for a while with the fitness side of things but not so much with the nutrition. And the mental has been suffering since the ectopic. The truth is, I haven't been to the gym, except to clean it, since the beginning of December and I let myself go during the holidays and ate everything that came my way...and baked a LOT! Two weeks ago, I walked past my bathroom mirror and said "WHAT HAPPENED!?!?!" Almost all the work I did has been undone and I have only myself to blame.
So, here I am, starting almost from the beginning again (I am not quite where I was but close enough to shock me) and I have decided to share my journey this time. I learned a lot in the beginning of my journey but I think I have learned even more as I have left the fitness and nutrition path and am trying to get back on. I am going to blog about continuing journey here and provide support, along with some of my friends who are my personal experts on Facebook page: facebook.com/flourishstepbystep. I really hope we can support each other in our journeys, whether they be financial, health, spiritual, or whatever your personal journey is...your journey that will cause you to FLOURISH!
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